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How Emotionally Intelligent Am I?

Take this quiz to find your level of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is basically how good you are at handling and understanding your own emotions, and the emotions of other people. Some of us are better at that than others. How good are you? We’ll help you find out.

Just answer these questions, and we’ll make an informed guess at your level of emotional intelligence. Of course, emotional intelligence is a complex thing, so an internet quiz can never be 100% accurate, but we can help you start asking the important questions!

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Questions Overview

1. Do you think it's easy to "read" other people's emotions and body language?
  1. Yes. I find it very easy to read people just by looking at them.
  2. I can sometimes tell what someone is thinking by how they look, but not usually.
  3. I can usually tell what someone else is thinking by how they look, but not always.
  4. No. It's often hard for me to guess what other people are thinking just by looking at them.
2. What do you do if a friend suddenly stops talking to you?
  1. I reach out and ask if we're good. If they're mad at me, I want to figure things out.
  2. I wait and see if they ever get back to me. Maybe they just need some space.
  3. I ask around to see if I did something wrong. Maybe our mutual friends know something.
  4. I cut them off completely. If they want to play the cold shoulder game, fine.
3. A friend calls you, and it sounds like they're crying over the phone. What do you do?
  1. I ask them where they are, if they're okay, and if they need help. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together.
  2. I stay on the line and try to cheer them up, but I don't push it. I don’t want to say the wrong thing.
  3. I don't mention the crying, and talk like everything is normal. If they have a problem, they should just say it.
  4. I suggest they talk to someone else. I don't really know how to handle these kinds of situations.
4. At a party, you see a guy talking to a girl in the corner. Her arms are crossed, she has a blank expression, and she's not looking at him. What do you think she's feeling?
  1. She seems bored, annoyed, or possibly uncomfortable. It seems like she doesn't want him to be talking to her for some reason.
  2. She's probably a little nervous and trying to keep it together. Socializing can be hard!
  3. She's probably just a little distracted by something else at the party.
  4. She's probably listening intently and processing what he's saying.
5. Your friend gets a gift, and when they open it, they squint their eyes, wrinkle their brow, and give a stiff smile. What do you think they’re feeling?
  1. They're probably disappointed with the gift, but don’t want to show it too much.
  2. They're probably happy with the gift, but not super happy with it.
  3. They're probably a little confused about what they got, but still super happy with it.
  4. They're totally satisfied and excited about the gift.
6. What does it usually mean when someone raises their eyebrows and opens their mouth?
  1. They're surprised or shocked at something.
  2. They're disappointed or confused by something.
  3. They're hurt or angry at something.
  4. They're calm and pleased by something.
7. What do you usually do after someone is rude to you?
  1. I brush it off. They're probably just having a bad day, and it doesn't need to ruin mine.
  2. I don't do anything, and feel bad for a while afterward, but I bounce back.
  3. I probably shoot them a mean look, but I try not to escalate the situation.
  4. I usually do something rude right back. Maybe that'll make them think twice next time.
8. How often do you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, good or bad?
  1. I almost never feel overwhelmed by my emotions.
  2. I rarely feel overwhelmed by emotion.
  3. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by my emotions.
  4. I often feel overwhelmed or carried away by my emotions.
9. How do you usually handle feeling sad?
  1. I ask myself why I'm feeling sad, and try to solve the core problem, if there is a solution.
  2. I try to distract myself by doing something I enjoy. I don't like feeling sad, but I think it's normal.
  3. I let it happen and trust that it'll pass. I don't see the point in fighting it.
  4. I try to ignore it. I hate feeling sad, and will do anything to not feel that way.
10. What do you do when a stranger criticizes you?
  1. I listen, think about if the criticism is valid, then take it or leave based on my judgment.
  2. I might listen, but I probably won't take their criticism. They don't know me.
  3. I take their criticism. An outside perspective is always good.
  4. I ignore them. They don't know what's best for me, I do.
11. Do you enjoy stepping out of your comfort zone?
  1. Yes! I believe that being uncomfortable is the best way to grow.
  2. Only sometimes, when I've had a chance to really think it through.
  3. Not really, but I'll do it if it's necessary.
  4. Not at all, and I try not to. It only stresses me out.
12. Do you often ask for help?
  1. I ask for help if that's the best way to get something done.
  2. I only ask for help if I've already tried and failed at something.
  3. I always ask for help, even if I can do something fine on my own.
  4. I never ask for help. I'll figure it out, one way or another.

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All About Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, process, and react to your feelings—and the feelings of others—in a healthy, productive way. It’s something everyone is constantly practicing and getting better at as they navigate their daily lives and rub elbows with other people, but some people are better at it than others.

What does emotional intelligence look like?

  • Thinking through your actions and words, rather than acting on impulse.
  • Recognizing when other people are happy, versus when they’re upset, and reacting accordingly.
  • Understanding what you’re feeling, why, and what to do about it.
  • Knowing that everyone thinks and feels differently, and keeping an open mind about that.
  • Understanding your own strengths and weaknesses as a person, and striving to improve.
  • Communicating openly and effectively.

How can you improve your emotional intelligence?

Examine your emotions when you feel them. It’s not always easy, but it’s the first step in becoming a more emotionally aware person! Next time you feel a strong emotion, try to stop and ask yourself a few questions: What are you feeling right now? What made you feel that way? What was your initial response? What response should you have had? What can you do now to move forward?

Keep a journal to track your emotions. Emotional intelligence is also a pattern of emotions and behavior. By keeping a journal, you can track how you feel in the long term, which can lead to some important and productive lessons. For example, you might realize that you’ve been feeling sad and bitter about something for quite a while, which can be a wake-up call that maybe you need to more actively process those feelings in order to live a healthier life.

Ask questions about people you know. Emotional intelligence isn’t just about you; it’s about how you perceive and behave toward all the people around you, too! If you notice that a friend, family member, or even stranger is acting strange, ask yourself a few questions: What emotion are they expressing, or even trying not to express? Is there anything about the situation that might give you some context for that emotion? Is that emotion somehow related to you? Even if it’s not, is there anything you can do to help?

How can emotional intelligence help you?

  • Emotional intelligence enhances your interpersonal relationships.
  • Emotional intelligence helps you understand and grapple with your emotions, especially the tough ones.
  • Emotional intelligence can make you a more capable professional who’s easier to work with.
  • Emotional intelligence can help you respond quickly and appropriately to many situations, even emergencies.
  • Emotional intelligence makes you a more open-minded, sympathetic, and experienced person overall.

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