How to Make Someone Feel Better About Themselves

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Reviewed by Christophe Fox

Last Updated: May 20, 2024 References

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Friendly Conversation

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Attention and Appreciation

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Positive Energy

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Tips

The ability to make other people happy is a great skill. You'll seem more charismatic and more people will gravitate towards you. Keep the people around you happy by showing them that you care about them. Make friendly conversation by listening more than you talk and ask questions about people. Praise their accomplishments and remember details about their lives to make them feel important. In general, maintain a positive attitude and good sense of humor. These feelings are contagious to the people around you.

Things You Should Know

When talking to someone, listen attentively to them without any distractions. Ask questions about them and be enthusiastic about what they say.
Remember little things about people and ask about them, like how their weekend was.
Give people compliments and admire their accomplishments. If someone does something for you, write them a thank you card.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Friendly Conversation

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1
Listen more than you speak. Try not to dominate conversations. If you do all the talking in a conversation, people will feel like you’re talking at them. Instead, let other people talk and only provide input when they’re finished. This makes you look like a polite, attentive person who cares what other people have to say.^{[1]
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- Don’t interrupt a person while they’re speaking. People don’t like being cut off. Always let them finish what they’re saying.
- Of course, still answer questions if the person asks them. But don’t just look for the next time you can start talking about yourself again. Allow other people to talk.
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Ask questions about the person. Keep conversations going by asking the other person about themselves. Give people the opportunity to open up and talk about themselves. They will appreciate talking to someone who listens to them. Even a simple, “How are you doing today?” makes people feel like you care about them.^{[2]
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- Don’t just ask superficial questions. Demonstrate that you were listening by asking questions based on what they person was saying.
- For example, if someone is telling you about their vacation and mention they got a flat tire, say, “Wow, how did you fix the tire?” This shows that you’re not only interested, but were paying attention to the story.
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Look away from your phone or computer when speaking with people. Don’t look distracted while conversing with people. Checking your phone or computer constantly makes you look rude and uninterested. Put your phone down and look away from the computer. Make eye contact with the person so they know you’re paying attention.^{[3]
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- If you do have to check your phone, excuse yourself and say, “Sorry, I have to check this for one second.”
- If you are actually busy and don’t have time to talk, be polite about it. Say, “I’d love to talk some more but I have a work call to make. I’ll see you later.”
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Be enthusiastic about what they say. Get excited when someone tells you something. If they share a piece of good news or an accomplishment, congratulate them. A simple, “That’s great!” will make them feel like they really did accomplish something and that you care about it.^{[4]
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- People sometimes get shy when you compliment them. If they say something like, “Oh, it’s no big deal,” you can follow up with, “Well just know I’m happy for you.” This maintains the personal connection with the other person without making them uncomfortable.
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Return compliments if the other person gives them. It’s possible someone will congratulate or compliment you in a conversation. Thank them sincerely for the compliment, and then return a compliment. This makes you look both gracious and generous at the same time.^{[5]
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- A coworker might say that you offered a great idea in the meeting today. You could respond, “Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. With your skills I’m sure you can pull it off.”
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Avoid criticizing their opinions. Inevitably, you’ll disagree with people on some of their beliefs or opinions. Keep the conversation friendly and don’t criticize them. Allow them to voice their opinions. That way, they’ll continue feeling safe and happy talking to you.^{[6]
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- You can still voice your disagreement without being hostile. Just simply saying, “That’s not the way I see it, but I get your point,” shows that you disagree but also gives the other person credit.
- If you want to avoid confrontation altogether, you can just ignore their opinion and try to steer the conversation elsewhere.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Attention and Appreciation

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1
Remember details about people’s lives. This is a great practice for connecting with people and showing them you really care about what they’re saying. If you always forget things they’ve told you, it will seem like you aren’t listening to them. Make an effort to remember the details they’ve told you to increase your connection with the person.^{[7]
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- Ask about these details too. Someone might tell you on Friday that they’re going to a concert over the weekend. If you see them on Monday, ask how the concert was. This shows you were listening and that you care about them.
- If you have trouble remembering things, try doing some exercises to improve your memory.
2
Show your interest with nonverbal cues. Certain mannerisms and body language show a person you’re paying attention. Nodding, making eye contact, and changing your facial expression according to what they say all shows the person that you’re invested in what they say. Don’t remain firm or unresponsive. This shows that you don’t care about the conversation.^{[8]
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- If someone tells you a story about something unexpected happening, widen your eyes and make a shocked face. They’ll feel like you’re completely invested in the story.
- You can also do this when you aren’t directly having a conversation with someone. If a coworker is giving a presentation in a conference room, look at them while they speak. Nod along when they make a good point, and take notes. These all make the person speaking feel important and they will appreciate it.
3
Offer praise in moderation. Compliments and praise are great ways to make someone feel important. Give compliments to other people, but don’t overdo it. If you constantly compliment everyone, your praise won’t look genuine. Be sincere when you compliment people, and then move on.^{[9]
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- Don’t continue complimenting the person after they’ve already acknowledged your compliment. If they say thank you, don’t say, “No but really, you did a great job.” This could come off as fake.
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Bring attention to their accomplishments. Compliments don’t only have to be private matters. If someone you know accomplished something, let other people know about it. The person will be happy to see that other people take their accomplishments seriously.^{[10]
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- This doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. You might be giving a presentation and say, “I’d like to thank John for doing a great job on these figures here.” This quick statement gives John credit without dwelling on the matter.
- However, if someone asks you to keep something quiet, respect their wishes. They may want to be the one to tell a certain person or might just be shy about it.
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Write thank-you notes if a person does something for you. Making people feel appreciated is another great way to show them that they’re important. If someone helps you out, take some time to write them a genuine thank-you note or email. Explain how they helped you and let them know you appreciate it.^{[11]
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- Personal thank-you’s work as well. Try to find the person and thank them. Saying, “I just wanted to drop by and say thanks for that favor you did,” shows that you went out of your way for them.
- If you can’t find the person, a thankful phone call is great too.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Positive Energy

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1
Avoid gossiping and talking about other people negatively. Spreading gossip about people creates a more hostile and less friendly environment. If you get a reputation for doing this, less people will want to interact with you. Stay away from gossiping and make yourself someone that people feel comfortable talking to. They’ll be much happier around you.^{[12]
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- This is a good situation where thinking about the Golden Rule helps. Would you like someone spreading rumors about you? Probably not. So don’t spread rumors about others.
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Treat people the way you’d like to be treated. This is often called the “Golden Rule” for a reason. If you want to make people happy, just think about what makes you happy. Then treat people accordingly. Live by this code and you’ll be a much friendlier person.^{[13]
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- Think about if you were talking to someone and you made fun of them for liking a certain band. Would you be happy if someone did that to you? Probably not. Reconsider your actions and apologize.
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Smile as much as possible. Smiling helps you feel positive and also spreads positivity to the people around you. Make a conscious effort to smile often. You’ll look like a much friendlier person and people are more likely to come talk to you.^{[14]
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- Whenever you greet people, smile as you say hello. This is an easy way to spread more positive feelings.
- Don’t try to make your smile as wide as you can. This will look fake. Just slightly turning the corners of your lips up makes you look bright naturally.
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Have a good sense of humor. Having a sense of humor helps reduce your stress and keep a positive attitude. More importantly, people will gravitate towards you if you’re a fun person. Laugh often and try to brighten other people’s moods. This will spread positive energy all around you and people will appreciate it.^{[15]
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- Remember that having a sense of humor isn’t just about telling jokes. It’s more about keeping a lighthearted mood about things. If something negative happens, try to find a bright side in it. Be the person that stays optimistic when other people are feeling down.
- Always know the limits for your humor, however. Don’t tell inappropriate jokes. If people don’t seem amused by your antics, tone it down.

Expert Q&A

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How can I easily build rapport with anyone?

Christophe Fox
Magician and Mentalist
Christophe Fox is a Magician and Mentalist based in Virginia. He travels around the country as a full-time performer, providing various entertainment programs, from headline shows as a keynote speaker to close-up magic. He specializes in pressure management, teaching clients and audiences how to live more productively and creatively. His speaking clients have included PBS, Bloomberg, Deloitte, J.P. Morgan, the U.S. Army, and many more. Christophe’s programs deliver jaw-dropping entertainment with a signature blend of magic, mind-reading, and audience interaction.

Christophe Fox

Magician and Mentalist

Expert Answer

Start by listening more than you speak. Show genuine interest by asking questions about the other person, like their name or where they're from. Avoid looking at your phone to maintain focus and show respect. When an awkward pause occurs, take it as a cue to ask more questions and then listen attentively to their responses. Also, you can create humor by cracking a joke, but make sure that it's appropriate for the conversation.

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How can I help a child with cancer feel more happy?

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Be a friend, and be nonjudgmental and understanding.

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How do I make someone feel good about life and themselves, if they're feeling depressed/suicidal?

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Just talk to them. It may seem simple enough, but it really helps them bring that negativity out. Let them know you care.

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Tips

Remember that every situation is different. If something tragic happens, it might not be the best time to show your sense of humor. Judge each situation and act accordingly.

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