How to React When Someone Blocks You

Co-authored by Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD and Eric McClure

Last Updated: July 21, 2023 Fact Checked

If someone you care about has blocked your number, unfriended you on social media, or ghosted you on Whatsapp, it’s reasonable to be disconcerted and even traumatized. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re angry or sad—it’s a totally normal reaction to someone you were into just shutting you out. That’s why we’re here to show you what you can do to try and win them back. In the event that they don’t change their mind, we’ll also walk you through what you might do to move on. This says more about them than it does about you, so try not to be too hard on yourself here.

1

Confirm they actually blocked you.

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They may have just lost their phone or taken a break from social media. For social media, try messaging them online. If it says your message can’t be delivered, they’ve blocked you. On some sites, you’ll get a message saying you've been blocked when you go to their profile, too. On the phone, try calling and texting them. If you get a message that your text can’t be delivered and the phone call mentions the number is “unavailable,” they blocked you.^{[1]
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- Depending on the carrier, your phone number may be blocked if you call and it rings once, there’s a persistent beeping, or you get a busy line.
- On some social media sites, there’s no way to know if they’ve blocked you or simply deleted their profile. Try searching for them online when you’re logged out of your account. If they don’t show up, they deleted the profile.

2

Take some time before you reach out to the person who blocked you.

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As tempting as it may be to reach out, waiting is usually a good idea. It’s totally natural if you’re wondering what went wrong. However, you’re probably not going to get answers now—especially if you and the other person are both upset. That’s why it’s especially important to give yourself some time to cool your jets. Wait at least 24 hours before doing anything.^{[2]
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- It’s reasonable to want answers, but confronting someone or demanding that they talk to you is unlikely to get you what you want.
- Examine your recent online or in person behavior with the person who blocked you. Did you write or comment about something that went against the person’s beliefs, viewpoint, or philosophy? Objectively look into your own online behavior to examine whether or not you offended that person.

3

Let it go if you just broke up.

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Moving on is typically ideal, especially if they’re an ex. Being blocked may hurt, but the odds are very good that your most reasonable solution is to just continue living your life and forget about them (for now at least). This is especially the case if you just broke up. People often go no-contact with their ex in the wake of a breakup to give themselves space to heal.^{[3]
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- If they’re a lifelong friend or partner, you’re justified to want to know more. In a situation like this, it’s okay to investigate and figure out what happened here.
- On the rare off-chance that they’re playing games with you and the block is only temporary, you’re still better off not engaging.

4

Forget about them if you never met IRL.

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Don’t read too much into it if you met this person online. Don’t assume you did anything wrong here. Unfortunately, a lot of people these days do this when they don’t feel they click with someone. Instead of sending a polite note about how they don’t think you two make a good fit, they just block you. That’s on them, not you, so don’t sweat it.^{[4]
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- Don’t get down in the dumps over this kind of thing. Some people just don’t have the respect to be straight up.

5

Wait for them to reach out.

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If they blocked you over a fight, give them time to calm down. If this block comes on the heels of an intense argument, give it a few days (or weeks, depending on the severity). It’s possible that the person who blocked you simply needs some room to cool off and that they’ll unblock you once they’re ready to talk. Just give them space.^{[5]
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- This is extremely likely to be the case if they’ve blocked and unblocked you before.
- If the two of you weren’t fighting, it’s possible they were offended by something you said or did. It’s still best to wait a while for them to cool off.
- Find a way to accept this if you cannot change it. When we cannot change the course of events this can plague us. By practicing acceptance and embracing that it cannot be changed, you might be able to let it go and move forward.

6

Resist the urge to get revenge.

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It’s understandable if you’re angry, but no good comes from lashing out. Don’t show up to their job to embarrass them, or knock on their door in the middle of the night to give them a piece of your mind. Not only will this not make you feel better, it will entirely shut down the possibility that you two reconnect. Remember, their decision to do this says more about them than you. Don’t give them a reason to think otherwise.^{[6]
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- There’s an adage that if your ex blocks you, you won. This means that if you want to “get back” at them, you’ve already done the best you can do. You either win because you get to move on, or you win because you’re such a powerful source in their life that they can’t bear to even see you online.

7

Ask a mutual friend to talk to them.

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If you want to get a message through to them, enlist help. If you want to know why they blocked you, you’re likely going to get more accurate information by enlisting a neutral third party. The person who blocked you might have negative feelings toward you right now, but they should open up honestly to someone else.
- Ask them to keep your request on the down low for best results. You might ask, “Hey, Melissa blocked me and I can’t figure out what I did wrong. Could you ask her the next time you see her? Just play it off like you’re curious.”

8

Send them a letter.

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If you have a lot of feelings to share, write them down. A letter is much more personal and reasonable than trying to call them from a non-blocked number or adding them on a fake social media account. Plus, it’ll be easier for the other person to process, since they can do it at their own pace. Take your time, jot down your feelings, and either mail the letter or ask a friend to give it to them.^{[7]
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- This is an especially reasonable idea if you were in a long-term relationship with the person and things ended kind of abruptly.
- You could write a letter to apologize, ask where you went wrong, beg them to take you back, or reflect on your time together. There are no right or wrong answers; it depends on what you want to tell them.
- Ask yourself if you could have done or said anything differently and determine if an apology is necessary. Is there a way you could have conveyed your viewpoint differently? Play with ways you could have said it better.
- Do not send dozens of letters. It’s going to send the wrong vibe, and at a certain point it’s unfair to their wishes.

9

Get rid of anything that reminds you of them.

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It will be a lot easier to move on if you can cleanse your space. If you’ve got any gifts they gave you, or photos hanging up in your room, put it all in a shoe box and stuff it deep under your bed. You can always revisit this stuff later but for now, getting rid of the reminders will help you put them out of your mind so that you can move on.^{[8]
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- If you really find yourself stressing and constantly reminiscing over photos and trinkets, give them to a friend and tell them to hold onto them for you. At least for a little while.

10

Take a break from social media.

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If you find yourself constantly checking on them, go on a digital detox. It’s a lot harder to get away from the negative feelings you’re experiencing if you find yourself compulsively checking to see if they’ve unblocked you. Go on a social media cleanse. Temporarily delete your accounts and give it a few days. You’ll be feeling better in no time.^{[9]
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Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living

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- If possible, give yourself a month-long break. 30 days is usually enough to really process your feelings and get back to your old self.

11

Spend time with your friends and family.

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Surrounding yourself with people who care will lift your spirits. It’s easy to get bummed out about being blocked by someone you really liked if you aren’t spending time with people who are genuinely happy to have you in their life. Say yes to every invitation from friends to go out, and reach out to people you haven’t seen in a while. You’ll forget about the fact that you were blocked in no time!^{[10]
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HelpGuide
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- Go outside, as much as you possibly can. You’re going to be more likely to want to reach out to them or check in on their social media accounts if you’re at home alone. Also, you’ll just feel better if you’re active.

12

Reconnect with your purpose in life.

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Take a step back and ask yourself why this is bothering you so much. If you just can’t move on, it might be a sign that it’s time to reevaluate. Maybe it’s a signal that you’d benefit by taking a break from dating and pouring your energy into your schoolwork, or career. Perhaps you can use your newly-found free time to get back to what you’re passionate about.^{[11]
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- Whatever it is in life that makes you feel fulfilled and focused, do that.
- Recognize that it’s perfectly normal to feel hurt for a while, especially if you dated this person for a while.
- Treat this as a learning opportunity—take what you can from the relationship or interaction, then move on.
- If you did something wrong, you can find ways to atone by volunteering for a charity, sending out loving kindness and forgiveness, and choosing to make healthy and positive choices moving forward.

13

Try to reconnect in the far future.

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If they’re still unreceptive, you may just need time for them to let it go. If you’ve solicited a friend to reach out, wrote them a letter, given it a few weeks and they still aren’t engaging, it may take a while. Give it a few months. If you still want to reach out, try calling, texting, or messaging them once. If they still don’t respond, you can try again in a year or so.^{[12]
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- This can seem like a really tall order, but if you two are meant to be (or meant to be friends), waiting a few months to a year may be worth it.

Community Q&A

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Question

What if I show up at their house and demand answers?

Evan Popchock

Community Answer

That won't end well for you. They could react with shock, horror, or even threaten to call the cops. You wouldn't want the police to get involved in this and possibly wind up with an order of protection.

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